Luwan’s Voice

The loud noise that woke me up came from downstairs.

It was from the TV, it was Luwan’s annoying voice. She was the mother of her sons youtube channel, Ryan’s Toy review.

Her voice sounded like a high pitched screech – nails down a black board.

For the TV to come on so early, it couldn’t be my wife, she also detests that show.

It could only be one person – my daughter.

She’s up early again. It’s not even light outside and the clocks haven’t gone back yet so I’m guessing its around 5ish.

I’m dreading going down, she’ll have the remote and she’ll be like Gollum if I try to take it from her.

Can’t be arsed getting into an argument, it’s too early for that shit. However I don’t wanna watch the programme either.

As much as I’d prefer to stay in bed spooning the lady. My daughter can’t be left unattended for too long also Luwan’s air raid siren voice isn’t getting any quieter. I’m awake.

Best go downstairs I’m going for the second option which involves lolling on the sofa.

If I grab myself a coffee maybe just maybe it could save me until the sun comes up.


Popped My Cherry

After hearing me talk about getting one for a while and not committing.
My good lady bought me, my first skateboard (Yeah, I know, I’m a lucky bastard).

This evening we hit an abandoned car park, not to get freaky. But to get our skate on.

My first time skateboarding and I suprsied myself.

We both had a try of the new plank. It’s a Z-flex, it’s slick as fuck.

We could’ve carried on all night, yet with the seaside sun light diminishing we didn’t get to stick around for long.

Tomorrow we plan to take the new addition out for another spin.


There’s a mosquito in my room.
I can’t see it.
However I’m familiar with that sound that repeatedly whizzes passed my ear that resembles a shitty moped.

Another hour, I still can’t sleep.
Maybe if I roll onto my other side.

I refuse to look at the clock.
I don’t want to know how long I’ve been fighting to nod off for.

What now? As my head became light and my breath became deep, nextdoor neighbor’s dog starts howling.
Stupid pricks put a pillow over it.

Finally, I’m asleep.
I dream – 30 secs of dialogue before being disturbed by the shrilling sound of my alarm clock.

Best get up.